Facing disagreement from your loved ones, hurts. Mostly always.
What’s more hurtful is seeking approval of the choices you make.
The more we try to seek acceptance or encouragement, if not applaud, the more we hand over the control of our aspirations to them.
This is because, our self assurance oscillates of what others think of us. When someone pats our back on doing something we feel great. And when someone disapproves or disregards our choices we feel worthless.
Just because you do things differently, you have a varied level of taking life, you like to do something which others considers as worthless doesn’t mean – You are wrong.
And the opposite is when you don’t seek the need for others to approve your actions, you are most powerful.
This is what you receive when your thoughts / actions don’t align with others.
They Strongly Disagree with you. (Mostly) There are plenty of ways to turn people off, most common among them is – doing something which they do not approve. Mostly this is not validated in words as they conceal this feeling behind reasoning. But it is simple as they do not like what you do and in turn they start disagreeing with you.
They Judge you. You simply can’t control this. The best you can do is, listen to the voice of your own soul and spirit and rise above self doubt and judgement. Be compassionate and stay calm – most importantly. let your actions prove your worth, not your words.
They think You will ne’er-do-well. Because they think you are irresponsible. You have a laid back attitude. Do a self check and prove them wrong. There might be instances where your actions were not aligned with your words. Learn from your mistakes and improve them. Do not let others permanently stamp you for what you are not.
When others have successfully made you feel worthless or imprisoned you of their belief, this is what happens to you.
You feel Awful. You want to make them understand immediately the whys of your decisions.
Why do you feel this way?
One, and the most common reason is because you think you are worthless. You have never done anything right in you life. Whatever you do turns out to be a mess or wrong.
Two, you are a people pleaser who try to overrides your reactions or emotions to seek consent of others.
Shun this thought.
Because, No matter what you do, someone will have a different opinion than you. And that’s OK.
Here’s what you should do when you feel criticized or judged;
- Keep on working on your self confidence.
- Have belief in yourself.
- Let go of embarrassment from past failures.
- Take responsibility of your actions.
- Stop comparing your life with others.
- Set boundaries.
- Improve your self esteem.
- And finally, remind yourself constantly, the whys of your decisions.
Remember, the biggest regret in life is
“I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself”
People around you wont understand your journey, they don’t need to. it is not for them.
Unlearn the need of being constantly liked or chosen by others.
Create your own self worth.
Let’s encourage each other. Share in comments, what’s your take on self esteem.